“Jesus Hated Shaved Pussy”

“So, a little while back, I was dating a girl who was of the very-put-together-in-a-somewhat-slutty-kind-of-way type. I heard her once described as "poonjestical." Actually, I made that up, but I think you probably know what I mean. She also happened to be of the somewhat religious type. Then, all of a sudden, she decides she wants to be the very religious type, not just the somewhat religious type, and now she doesn't want to be with me because I want to have sex with her! So, in other words, she picked Jesus over me. And by "Jesus" I mean the metaphorical Jesus, as in the getting involved with organized religion Jesus, as opposed to the actual Jesus. I wouldn't have been at all surprised or offended if she had left me for the real Jesus. At least based on what I've heard about him. Anyways, she also happened to have a shaved vagina or "pussy." At the time at least, I found it hard to believe that the metaphorical Jesus would like shaved pussy. And by "shaved pussy" I mean the metaphorical shaved pussy, as in people who have lots of sex, because there is no reason to have a shaved pussy unless you're having sex with it. Right? So that whole deal inspired me to write the song. Hope you like it.”