Not Without Laughter

Tila Tequila likes to laugh--a lot as I discovered during the course of our interview. During our fourteen minute conversation she laughed a total of seventeen times, which if you do the proper math, equals 1.2 laughs per minute. However, like the liquor that she shares her last name with, Tequila's laughs come in a variety of different flavors. Some laughs are pure releases of spontaneous childlike exuberance, others a nervous almost self-conscious endearing laugher, and then there are the laughs made bittersweet and world-weary by past painful experiences. In between the laugher, Tequila- the internet queen, entrepreneur, MTV reality star of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and musician- spoke candidly about her passion for music, the stigma of being bisexual, getting sued, and also revealed the 6 near-death experiences that almost took her life away. She's vulnerable, a bad-ass, intelligent, fearless, witty, and on a mission to build an empire on her own terms; but not without laughter.

Souleo: Congratulations, on the release of your new single, Stripper Friends , which is out today from your upcoming album. You once stated that people are usually shocked when they hear your music. Where do you think their doubts about your musical abilities come from?

Tila Tequila: Well, I started off 10 years ago doing modeling and Playboy. As a result you have to overcome this image that people have in their minds of who you are. They think "Model: so no talent." But once people find out about who I am, the things that I talk about, and then my music they get shocked. There are so many pop stars that are made up today, that don't write their own music, and that don't do anything except run around and party. It's just hard to find a real pop star these days that's actually a real artist as well. But I say things that are ground-breaking and that are real, and that's just who I am.

S: You mentioned groundbreaking and shocking when describing yourself and your music. What sort of groundbreaking and shocking things can we expect from the upcoming album?

TT: Well, it just touches base on the whole gay/lesbian thing but at the same time I'm putting out a good message. I am controversial, but at the end of the day I always put out a good message behind the controversy. We're all people and it's about love. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you're true to yourself, and that's the message of my music. But at the same time its still fun and there are some club songs.

S: You mentioned being controversial and still putting out a positive message. What is the positive message that you're trying to send with your new single?

TT: My new song, Stripper Friends, is about all my stripper friends and all my ex-boyfriends. The song is saying that it doesn't matter who you are or what you do; at the end of the day we all want the same thing and we all need the same thing.

S: Why have you decided to remain an independent artist instead of signing with a major label?

TT: I think that right now it's really important to have somebody stand firm and not be afraid to start a new trend. This generation has the power of the internet with people doing it on their own. I want to be a good example for other people to show that we can do this on our own and we don't always have to succumb to all these labels telling us what to do, how to sing, what kind of image to portray, or when I can have a record out. It's just frustrating because they didn't get me at all and I was not gonna turn into Ms. Virgin Princess all of a sudden.

S: However, last year there was an announcement by the Black Eyed Peas leader and producer Will.I.Am on MTV's TRL that you would sign with his music group under the major label, A&M Records. That obviously fell through, so what happened?

TT: He got over excited before we talked about it fully. But I love Will, he's my boy, and we still talk. But you know we just didn't get things going before he made that announcement, and that's unfortunate but he's my boy. At the end of the day I just decided to put it out myself.

S: I read that you are being sued by the label, The Saturday Team, and distributor, Icon Music Entertainment Services, over a breach of contract. Is that story true?

TT: Yeah, we're going through a lawsuit right now, but I'm also counter-suing because they're exploiting me. There's a lot of stuff going on. It's unfortunate that you're in a situation where you're younger, you work out stuff, and then people exploit you later when you become famous. All these people come out of the woodwork, and I'm being sued left and right by everybody trying to get a piece of everything. It's just unfortunate, but the truth will prevail and I'm not worried about it.

S: In your previous single, I Love U (single) (Dirty Version) , produced by superstar producer Lil' Jon, you do seem to be very worried about jealousy issues in a relationship. Before we get to the subject of the song, what was it like working with Lil' Jon?

TT: I did that song awhile ago and he's still one of my favorite producers in the world. He's amazing and he's so much fun. That song is just another way of me saying that a lot of girls out there have these jealousy issues, and they don't like to talk about it, because everyone pretends that they're so cool. So I said, "Why don't I write a song about what girls really think?" [laughs]

S: Were you ever that crazy jealous girl that you portray in the song?

TT: Of course I was, I'm not gon' lie. I'm not gonna sit here and say, "Oh I don't care." Of course I was that girl.

S: How did you overcome your jealousy?

TT: Embarrassment from the past. [laughs]

S: What were you embarrassed by?

TT: Just looking back when you're younger at the jealous rages and the things that you did. You see the same people again and you cringe and say, "Oh my God, you know I'm really sorry for what I did and said. I was really stupid. I was a teenager. I'm really embarrassed by it so can we still be friends and make up?" [laughs]

S: I read that by the age of sixteen, you had already been in an adult relationship. What was that relationship like for you at such a young age?

TT: It was definitely very emotional because at sixteen, I was pretty lost, and I had no firm role models to look up to or family. So, I just looked for my own thing and had a relationship with two girls. [laughs]

S: Two girls at one time?!

TT: Yeah. [laughs]

S: Wow, that sounds very intense.

TT: [laughs] Yeah exactly. I go all out. [laughs] It was intense.

S: How did that experience affect the type of relationship you're now looking for on your MTV reality show, A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila?

TT: It really affected what I'm looking for now because I realized that those girls were just in it for fun like, "Ooooh fun, let's make out, and show off." But I didn't want those girls to think that it's just some fun thing when I'm being for real. [laughs] So that's where the battle began. I kept going back and forth with guys and girls because I was always looking for something real, and I got tired of people taking advantage of me or of the situation. You know, like guys thinking "Oh she gets any guy she wants so I'm gonna treat her like shit," or girls thinking "Oh my God, let's act like porn stars." [laughs] I'm just looking for someone real at the end of the day that's mature, understands how I am, and what I'm able to offer in a relationship to a guy or a girl.

S: The fact that you're bisexual is the heavily hyped twist of the show, so name one thing you find most attractive about a man, and the one thing that you find most attractive about a woman.

TT: One thing that's very attractive about a man is that if it's the right man he can make you feel like a woman. In my life I'm always the man. [laughs] I take charge and it's nice to be able to just be a woman now and then, and be submissive to the guy. You feel secure and safe in his strong arms, you know that he can run around and fix stuff for you, and do man stuff, and it's cute. And with a girl you feel this natural trust and this natural bond that you can't instantly get with a guy. And from there you just have to see if it works out romantically. I think that's why lesbians move so fast. [laughs] Things just happen so fast and get too emotional with a girl. So there is a nice balance that you need.

S: I guess things get too emotional, and then one of the girls ends up writing a song like I Love You.

TT: Exactly, and the scary thing about chicks is that with guys in a relationship, you fight and argue; but girls and girls, oh my God there are cat fights going on. There's underwear flying, there's slapping, there's hair pulling, but then there's like awesome make-up sex afterwards. [laughs]

S: I'm sure we'll see a lot of that on the show. However, there are a lot of stereotypes and a stigma that surrounds bisexual people. Some of the stereotypes are that bisexual people can never be satisfied, they're promiscuous, or that they're confused and don't really know what they want. What is your response to those stereotypes?

TT: I think that whoever wants to stereotype bisexuals are just as close-minded as those Christian churches bashing on the gay community. Just because you're bisexual doesn't mean that you're a whore or that you're more promiscuous than other people. You just love people for who they are. That doesn't mean that you're sleeping around with 25 guys, running around sleeping with 50 girls, and having orgies. It just shows that you are what you're thinking, so if you think that way that means you're the douche bag not me.

S: Speaking of people's preconceived notions, you wrote on your MySpace page that photos don't say much about a person at all. What is the one thing that your photos don't say about you or misrepresent you as?

TT: I'm definitely more intelligent than people think. I'm very deep, compassionate, and I'm very witty. People think that, "If you're so smart why don't you cover yourself up and wear glasses? It's like why should I? [laughs] Just because I'm smart doesn't mean that I have to dress like a nun.

S: You don't seem to be afraid to be yourself, and there's a comment on your MySpace blog from, Coming Undone, which states, "I give her my respect for being apart of the Asian community and making that step. Not very many people truly understand how hard it is to be yourself in an Asian family." Do you agree?

TT: Absolutely, I mean I feel for the Asians, because I'm Asian. [laughs] We do come from very strict and old-fashioned families. The Asian community is just so close-minded but times are changing. You gotta just let your kids grow up and experience things. You really need to love your children and support them, instead of being so strict and close-minded because in the end that's just gonna drive them away.

S: What you just said about growing up and not feeling loved or understood by those around you, makes me think of a statement where you said that, "Everything I didn't have growing up, I was finding in this new experience on the web." What were those things missing in your life that you found online?

TT: It's kind of like therapy. I've had these feelings suppressed for so long and no one to talk too. I never had very many close friends or anyone that I could trust. So when I found the internet and a way to communicate with people, I realized that there are so many people out there that can relate to the same thing, and the more I talk about it the more it helps them. I feel like I have a purpose in life, and it's to help people that can relate to the horrible experiences that I've gone through. At the same time it helps me because I get to talk about it, and I become a stronger person from it.

S: Speaking of some of your horrible experiences I read that you had 6 near death experiences; 3 of which were suicide attempts. What were the other experiences?

TT: Drug overdose and two car accidents. [laughs]

S: You're a survivor.

TT: I am. I am definitely a survivor. I know I'm here for a reason. [laughs]

S: You're obviously focused and driven. So driven that you wanted to be a multi-millionaire by the time you reached age 25. Now that you have all of your various projects: the online casino, fashion line, music, and new MTV show, have you met your goal?

TT: I actually met my goal because initially I said I wanted to have at least $500,000 or whatever and I was like "Oh, I better bump this up," to give myself a challenge. [laughs] So, I'm definitely happy.

S: It's midnight on a Friday, what is Tila doing?

TT: At midnight on a Friday, Tila Tequila is in her Jacuzzi with lavender bath soap listening to Rod Stewart's Classical Hits. [laughs]

Stripper Friends (

I Love U (single) (Dirty Version) (