I had a chance to sit down with (aka emailed) D.C.'s own These United States to ask them a few questions while they're on tour. Needless to say, hilarity ensued.

Next stop for These United States is the New York metro area. Be sure to check them out at Cakeshop on August 1st and at Goodbye Blue Monday on August 2nd if you happen to be in the area.

crazyeyes: What's the scene like in D.C.? What are some of your favorite bands in the area?

These United States: Tom hates everyone, including himself. He's a perfectionist. Jesse loves everyone, including himself. He's a hedonist. The rest of the band hates and loves Tom and Jesse, depending on the day and distance away from D.C. those two are. On this particular day, Tom and Jesse are far away from Washington, D.C., greatly increasing everyone else's opinion of them. In general, and due partly to their ever-expanding numbers, members of These United States are prone to like just about any given sound that could possibly occur on the D.C. scene. It's common sense statistics. There are like 20 people in These United States. The band that secretly runs the entire scene is called Kitty Hawk. They are Jedi masters of full-blown mind control. They are probably influencing the way you are reading this sentence right now.

crazyeyes: How's your tour going?

These United States: Truly grandly. Just picked up a couple young musicians from Columbus who go by Barnowls. They'll be our rhythm section for the next several days, on the run of the tour that culminates in a festival in Rochester this weekend. Then it's Tom and Jesse off to the great Northeast -- Boston, Portsmouth, Providence, and back down though NYC and Brooklyn, Philly and DC, playing with a few other folks along the way and finally back to the home team by those last couple shows. You should see the home team's new uniform.

crazyeyes: We hear there's a new album...

These United States: You hear well. You must've been to less shittyloud rock shows than we.

crazyeyes: When are we gonna get it on Amie Street?

These United States: Once we've done properly made sure to've killed any small amount buzz what we might've had going for us at some point. It's taken time, but we think we're getting close.

crazyeyes: What are your summer plans?

These United States: To exterminate buzz.

crazyeyes: How do you guys kill time on the road?

These United States: Exterminating buzz.

crazyeyes: Who are you listening to right now?

These United States: The Buzzcocks. No, wait, The Exterminators. No, wait, is that a real band? The other night, on the wrong side of the tracks in Indianapolis, Indiana, we sat, stunned, silent, sublimed, knocked ass-down and head-gone by two of the loveliest ladies ever to've entwined their dueling harmonies. Dualism at it's greatest really -- our minds and bodies fully disconnected! They were on a porch, and we were too shy, and had to go play a show ourselves, which was on the inside and the next door down. So, you know, never caught the name. Them're the best musics -- accidental, fleeting, on summer nights masquerading as autumn early eves.

crazyeyes: First album you ever bought?

These United States:

Tom: Billy Joel, Live in Russia

Jesse: M.C. Hammer, 2 Legit 2 Quit.

Rest of band: Tom and Jesse Sing Songs for Lovers

crazyeyes: Favorite album of all time?

These United States:

Tom: Miles Davis, Kind of Blue

Jesse: M.C. Hammer, 2 Legit 2 Quit.

Rest of band: Tom and Jesse Sing Songs for Haters.

crazyeyes: Favorite band on Amie Street?

These United States:The ones that're still free. Not cause we're cheap, just cause we love the thrill of the chase. To think that there was a person who was actually the first person on the moon, and that that happens every day in one place or another, and sometimes even via a song!

crazyeyes: Who would makeup your all-star band and what would you name it?

These United States: They already exist, and they are called Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

crazyeyes: Who is your industry crush?

These United States: Steel. We're on the way to Pittsburgh as we speak, to make all our loves and dreams come true.

crazyeyes: If you had your own robot, what would you use it for?

These United States: To answer interview questions cleverly.

crazyeyes: Care to say anything else?

These United States: No, but our robot would, for sure.